Quotes from the cockpit:

Humour aparently does rarely make an apperance in the pressurised cabin, as these actual pilots and attendant quotes prove;

"As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your belongngs. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave childrean or spouses".

" We are pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately none of them are on this flight".

"This aircraft is equipped with a video surveillance system that monitors the cabin during taxiing. Any passengers not remaining in their seats until the aircraft comes to a full and complete stop at the gate will be strip-searched as they leave the aircraft".

"Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we land. - it's a bit cold outside".

" Smoking in the lavatories is prohibited. Any person caught smoking in the lavatories will be asked to leave the plane immediately".

There are more.. hihi but mini lazy to typed now.. if you wish to continue reading this.. just let me know

IMT